The Funeral... and some insight to those we have grown to disdain...

He closed his eyes and crossed the threshold into the reality so blankly laid out in front of him. Jonas didn't look up to see the secretary nod him in he just walked - never straying his stare from the floor - solemly towards the room full of strangers. Voices murmered into a backgrond noise, Jonas was already lost in the past the only safe place to hide from the truth.

~~~

The cool summer air brush along my face as we sped down to the creek. I turned my head to see Lucy riding parallel along side me, her rusty beach cruiser moaned reluctantly as she pumped harder on the pedals trying to beat me. The wind whipped her hair back to reveal her striking features. Her dark red tinted brown hair and strong percsing eyes; an ice blue like a frozen tundra. Her high cheek bones layed perfectly on her heart shaped head. Lucy skin was my favorite though aside from her eyes, of course. She was pale... cream her olive tone barely breaking the surfice. She turned to smile at me her plump almost red lips broke my awe struck stare. I smiled back and she giggled her sweet childish laugh. I noticed she had stopped, now leaning against her bike parked beside and old oak. I cocked my head and squinted my eyes wondering what she was doing, then I relized we were already here.
The clean almost warm water drowned Lucy's smile. The small river rocks crushed against my back and something was pressed firmly against my fore head. I open my eyes under the water, my vision blurred by the flowing liquid.
"Jonas," I could hear her roll her eyes through the muffled cry. I smiled at her tone and lifting my head out of the water so I was sitting cross legged in the stream and figured the bike seat had landed on my head.
"I'm okay. Im good, thanks for worrying," I mocked.
She let another giggle escape her lips and she rolled her eyes once more, "Get out there," She complained, "Look your all wet now." She gestered toward my clothes.
I splashed her, "Come in it's fun!" I splashed her again.
She couldn't resist, she ran into the ankle deep creek and kicked the fresh water in my face. We broke out into an all out water fight, flinging water at each other mercilessly.
I raised my hands in surreder, "Okay, you win I give up."
"Awww, come on," She moaned, "I though you said it was fun," Lucy mocked my voice on the last word splashing me again. As she was kicking the water into the air she lost balance and flew forward. I caught her right before she hit the ground. Her slender body in my arms made my heart skip. I looked at her and face flushed pink.
"Sorry," She mumbled regaining balance and I reluctantly let her go.
I rolled my eyes teasingly, "Your such a clutz." She stuck her tounge out with an Uhhhing sound that made me smile.
We walked out of the stream and she sat against the old oak while a sat across from her in it's shade.
"You know what my favorite part about this place is?" She asked.
"What?" I answered curious about her sudden question.
"The bike ride over," She bagan glancing at me to make sure I was listening... of course; I was, "Because when I look down at the road the markings stained on the asphalt as thay fly by remind me of the begining of an old movie. When the technolagy was still new so it had imperfections--My favorite part--and the screen would blip with random dots and lines."
"Like at the start of an 'I Love Lucy' marathon," Lucy's favorite show... ironic enough. She would make me watch it for hours whenever 'TV Land' was having a tribute to it.
"Exactly," She smiled, she loved it when ever I brought the show up. Lucile Ball was also her favorite actress and the woman she was named after. I smiled back at her favorite part. She had spread her Luciness all over this conversation. Which made fall her again.

~~~

Jonas slowed his pace as he got closer to the wooden coffin biting his lip, holding back tears. He stared at the lifeless corpse in front of him and choked down the memory of this girl and him at the creek. Her welcoming smile had vanished and her childish giggle silenced replaced by a blank drone. Her ice eyes closed tight never to open again and the olive rose drained from her face. Stark white washed over to the look a like maniquin. This wasn't Lucy lying in front of him, this restless body frowning up at him. Chagrin replaced Jonas' mourning face. Her soul was gone disappeared into the universe. Why had God done this? Steal a pure heart from a world desperatly in need of her thoughts.
Incomprehensable.
Jonas felt a delicate hand on his back and turned around.
Penelope.
"What are you doing here?" Jonas' voice whipped a desolate tundra over Penelope's apearence. He was bitter with disapointment already, she was unwelcome.
"Lucy was my friend too," She stated defensively.
"Yeah, was... how do think she would feel about your new friends?" He acused.
"That's none of your business," She squinted back peircing him with her firery green eyes. Jonas cringed away.
"But really Pen," His tone was calmer now, "Do you really think..." Penelope cut him off.
"It's Penelope," Her voice cold as ever.
"Fine. Penelope," He said the word like it was disease, "Seriously do think she would have liked that your running off with Chris and playing," His voice changed to a mocking girls, "BFF with his fuck-buddy?"
"I'm just trying to go on okay? I can't spend my whole life mourning some girls death," Penelope explained.
"That some girl was your best friend," Jonas was on the verge of tears, "You two were like sisters. Aren't upset about that at all? How can you be so okay with all this?"
"You think I'm okay?" She apeared to be on edge too, "You think I'm all little birds fluttering around in a meadow? You weren't there when she died. You weren't there to watch you best friend bleed to death and unable to do anything!" She'd lost it the tears were flowing freely now, "I'm not that easy to recover, Jonas," She reminded him. His stomach fluttered she said his name. He didn't know why, "I'm just trying, okay?" Jonas was crying now, too.

Mental Health Day

Wednesday, school, the day before the funeral. Jonas slept in today, no need to awaken.
Jonas decided the night before that for his and humanities mental sake it was best to not attend school today. This fourth day of the week was Field trip day, to the place of her death and to ponder the wondering of his philosophies, the ones Lucy had past down.

Jonas trudge to the city bus stop, back pack on one shoulder, the weight of misery on the other. He thought the shoulder full of notebooks and nap sacks was lighter. The ancient vehicle crawled up the winding rode. The driver pushed the double doors open with his handle and Jonas take a seat behind a woman with a handful of birdseed in her pocket and a man who smelled of goat. Jonas smile at the pair, Lucy had taught him to do that, and the woman with bird seed reach into her pocket and hand a few to Jonas smiling. He stare out the window the whole trip, the goat man occasionally talking gibberish to him. Jonas pull the ring cord to alert the driver he want to get off the rusty death mobile.

He step off the bus onto a forgotten dirt road. It's only inhabitants a faded bus stop and miles of grassy green fields that swayed in the wind. The air gusted Jonas's over grown hair out from in front of his face revealing his striking blue eyes.
Lucy thought his eyes looked the color of a piece of sea glass she found on her trip to Martha's Vineyard when you position the glass in front of the setting sun. The night she died, when they finally kissed, she stared into the the endless ocean of his glassy eyes and smiled, it was her favorite feature of his. Looking into his eyes made her feel lost and welcome. She would stay lost in his deep eyes forever if she could and would never come back.

Jonas stand in the middle off the dusty path, no sign off civilization for miles. He called her name into the day. He waited for a response and none came. It became clear to him she long ago disappeared. He cursed him self for being blind and shed one teared trapped in the back of his mind.

The lunch table was crowed with vaguely familiar strangers she had created as temporary friends. Penelope sit next to Cynthia and across from Chris. The boy play footsies with her under the table and she secretly refused but her outer layer happily obliged. Cynthia giggle twisting her wavy fake blonde hair with her forefinger.

An insight on the Living

The adolescent was greeted by a suffocating carpet and dirty laundry and a smoke stained couch. Bud, his mother's new boy friend, was pissed drunk and decided sex was an appropriate pre-hangover medication. Jonas fled to peace of his room. The thin walls of the pig Ste barely drowned out the yelling. His mother refused to participate in the activity and the once happy slur was upset, cursing the heavens any chance he got. Jonas re-read and re-read the black letter in dis-belief the card nuked- him, his dreams, his hopes right in the butt. The... thing, was proof of her death.

Penelope was racking up minutes on her cell phone, three waying it with Cynthia and some other mindless drone.
"O-M-G! Did you freakin see that, ugh, thing she wearing?" Cynthia lathered the sentence in bitch.
"Totally can you say 'Good Will'?" Penelope remembered when she and Lucy would spend hours on weekends trying on vintage the second hand shop sold.
"EW! Isn't like where, ugh, like hobos shop?" Drone spit out.
"Huh the chick's a homeless person!" Cynthia snickered. "Well, too-dools bitches gotta plan tomorrows outfit!" The cheer drone and ex-vintage lover and real bitch hang up.

Jonas jammed his head phones deeper in his ears, trying to melt into the sound. 'Maybe if I just listen forever I'll never have to speak. If I stay here forever will anyone notice?' Jonas pondered the possibilities. The vibrations were pounding at his ear drums "The Automatic" sang of monsters and hills. Jonas thought of the monster coming over his hill.

Penelope turns up the volume on her stereo the music blared through the walls shaking her home tearing the walls down. She close her eyes feeling each support give up. Collapsing the plywood building. The crumble of home is all that is left. Penelope condense into each note, each sound bringing back, reversing time to a concert of everything singing of people and ideas and beliefs. Lucy and Jonas standing on either side of her yelling each word in perfect tone deafness, Penelope joining in. The stage consists of drums, bass, lead and rhythm guitars, and the classic key board. The musicians are invisible to Penelope the instruments do all the talking.

The Independent Live Fest.

The show of their life. The multitude of local bands would all come together on this one night and preform their little hearts out. The concert was a week before Lucy's death and Penelope remembered it clearly, the screaming hipsters and washed out stoners.

Penelope and Jonas time travel back to this date to this show, this concert, this... celebration.

Black Card Days and Their Meaning

Jonas dragged his lean body the three blocks home from school his "Dashboard Confessional" tee shirt was stained with ketchup from lunch. He shook his straight black hair from his lost eyes, lost in the past. He trudged up his steep drive way to the mail box located conveniently on the top of the hill he inhabited. The mail box was a puke green stained from oxidation and what not. Jonas pried the rusty door open and stuck his hand in the dark hole his pulled out bills and scams. As he started for his front door a black envelope fell from the bunch, he picked up the letter annoyed. Jonas glanced at the object, he dropped the others he held in his hand when he noticed the return address:

The Family of Lucile Bueliegh

661 Fuller Park Drive

Masonsburg PA, 17905

Lucy's house. Jonas ripped the envelope open almost tearing it's contents. He half expected for the the note to blare

"Ha ha it was all a big joke Lucy isn't dead she was just scratched up a little and has been hiding in a closet the whole time..." A sick joke. It didn't, the letter read:

You are cordially invited to attend, along with you friends and family,
The funeral for Lucile Bueliegh.
This with Take place at:
Jefferson's Memorial Cemetery
3751 Resting Avenue
Masonsburg PA, 17905
Sunday, November 23rd, 2008 at 3:00 pm

Jonas unconsciously dropped the black card and stare teary eyed into space. This is it she really is dead. Never coming back, no more Lucy, gone forever. He recognized the format of the letter. It was the same disturbing invitation Lucy had to face sophomore year.

She came to school that day holding back tears. She had received the same black envelope that morning. It told her that her loved one was gone. A black card is the death card she once told Jonas it means someone has died and the higher forces wanted us to know. Her grandmother, or Nu-Nu as Lucy once called her, had died earlier that night from a sudden heart attack. Lucy thought this was a terrible way to die to be doing one perfectly normal thing one minute and the next your dead with no warning or anything you could do about it.

Lucy entered third period gym with watery eyes and a sunken heart, Nu-Nu was her dearest relative a sort of perminate spoiling mother. Lucy had lived with her Nu-Nu when she was little until about age nine because her mother had her when she was sixteen. Lucy's mom did not want a child that young so she gave up guardianship of her daughter to Nu-Nu. Lucy's mother, Mrs. Bueliegh as Jonas referred to her as, grew up and went to collage, got her degree as a Professor in English at teaches as an Alumni at the university. Once Mrs. Bueliegh graduated she met her husband Mr. Bueliegh, he took his wife's name, and they packed up to retrieve Lucy from her grandmother. The custody battle was a blood bath, Nu-Nu, being the stubborn old hag that she is did not want her "dumb ass" daughter (as she secretly put it) to take care of the young Lucy. They fought for several years until the court finally ruled that:

"Lucy needed her real mother and Mrs.Bueliegh did not seem unfit to take the job."

Nu-Nu was heart broken her precious "Daisy Flower" had left her nest earlier then expected, which shattered the old women. From what Lucy had told Jonas she did not leave her house for weeks until the family next door had to file a missing persons report.

Lucy loved Nu-Nu dearly, she is the one who taught Lucy to play "Battleship" (he and Lucy's favorite board game). When they were four Lucy dragged Penelope in one hand "Battleship" in the other down, impressively, the four blocks to Jonas's house. Lucy showed him what each piece meant and the basic rules and they were off. Lucy whooped his ass at "Battleship" every time they played, Jonas was a good sport though because even then he had a little thing for her. Penelope just watched she was never quite the Battleshipper, it didn't interest her as much (she was always the girly one in the group). Battleship their game, even today they would play it, well they would've even today if it hadn't been for the accident.

Jonas came back to earth and pick up the pile of sliced up trees he had let slipped through his hands. He creaked through the front door of the house trying to block out the angry voices coming from inside.

The screen door slammed shut.

Jonas was jolted back to reality.

Polo fest

Jonas cringed out of 3rd period science, dissecting pigs... repulsing. He saw Penelope chatting with Cynthia Cheerleader, the populace popular. Laughing and giggling. He saw Christopher run his hand down her back, down to her butt. Jonas blinked his eyes, why was she letting him do that. Christopher, it, was running his hands all around her. It was touching her, feeling her up. In broad daylight, in school. Penelope, his ex-(apparently) best friend was merging to the hated crowd. The killer crowd. Jonas stand wide eyed in the middle of the hall stoned seniors and confused freshmen swarming all around, and he stand alone... in the crowd.

Penelope straighten her mini skirt and unbutton her polo. When did she start wearing polo's? She stare at Cynthia, pretending to listen, laughing when she laughed frowning when she frowned. She felt Christopher run his hands up and down her back. It felt good tingly she let him move all the way to her butt, he squeezed. She jumped a little and swiped his hand away with a wagging finger, merely flirtatious.

She saw Jonas staring at her, why was he staring? He looked helpless, disappointed, lonely. What, was she a disappointment. Who was he to run her life, with Lucy gone she had to find some way to move on. Lucy. She felt sorry for him but she couldn't keep moping... right? Cynthia had noticed Penelope looking at him.

"Ugh, what a loser," she grunted
"I know I can't believe I used to be friends with him," Penelope lied. Cynthia glared at him, Penelope joined. Jonas walked away. Brrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggg! Late bell.

Stark White

The ride was bumpy, people in white coats running back and forth to bandages and air machines. Lucy's nose and mouth were full of tubes, she looked all plastic and morbid, the stark white sheets of the stretcher stained with blood. Penelope lay on a stretcher next to her they were itchy and the only thing comforting on the trip to the hostbitable. Penelope looked over to Lucy her face was rearranged and the beeping machine with lines was decreasing.

The rescue mobile jolted forward then stopped. They threw open the double doors and entered the hostbitale she and Lucy separated they took her to the ER and Penelope to a plain white room so white everything that entered the room was immediately washed out, it seemed dark and cold to Penelope, this room was for those who were going to survive.

Doctors with masks and gloves and sharp tools started poking at Lucy, debating what to do...dead or alive. The beeping machine dropped severely...then stopped. They stopped poking and her chest froze......she was officially dead.

A nurse walked in with some applesauce and...her parents. Penelope closed her eyes and pretended she was dead, for she would be shortly. The nurse informed her parents on what happened and said she'd be able to leave tonight, she only had a few cuts. Her mother knelt beside her, her mother's eyes screamed mixed emotions; pity, disappointment, terror, sadness. Her father stand, unreadable, hiding his emotions, like a conservative father should, it's like he didn't even care. They lectured and mumbled, but Penelope only saw there mouths moving, no words coming out she could hear was Lucy's scream, and her beautiful voice ruptured by the high pitch. The sirens and doctors voices permanently embedded in her ears. The scene kept replaying over and over again in her head.

Nurses and doctors morn...they failed, they identify the girl as Lucille Bueliegh and alert her parents, but they already know, there talking on fox news to the nation about the tragedy, Fox reporter something or anther shuffles around with his mike and scratches his tuepay'. The camera lights are bright, he wants to go home. Mrs. Bueliegh is sobbing, her water proof mascara is no match for tears. Jonas flip through channels on his TV and Lucy's face appears in his mind and the television, he thinks of their kiss and is thankful. He turns his head to the TV and sees Lucy's mom. Another pair of watering eyes appears, Jonas's. He watches intently the television pouring and melting and crying. And drunken football players are unaware of they're catastrophe as they strip down they're bed buddies.

Car Crashes and Abercrombie MOdels

Lucy's mind was running with questions....and answers. "is this really happening?"....yes. "he loves me, too?".....yes. "I love him?"....yes. Perfection or rather the absence of it for perfect was the flaw in it of itself. She sat up and pulled Jonas along with her. 

Jonas sat up, Lucy and him hand in hand. Penelope walked in just as they stood up. She saw Lucy and Jonas holding hands and knew. They're friendship doesn't exactly consist if words but rather merely gestures of the fact. Jonas, Lucy...together. The three of them walked out of the room and joined the crowd. The Footballers were kicked out. 

Lucy got them dancing...dancing the night away. Beautiful.

"2am, crufu Cinderella," Penelope smiled at Lucy.

"Ahhhh...do I have to?" She asked with her puppy dog lip. Jonas thought she looked cute.

"Hey! Don't give me that look my parents are already going to beat my ass as it is missy," Penelope came back with.

"Ughers, fine then, I shall leave," Lucy threw her her hand on her forehead dramatically.

Lucy put her hand on Jonas's chest and leaned over to his ear, "I love You" and kissed him on the cheek then moved to his lips and kissed him long and real. Jonas kissed back. Penelope just smiled to her self, "they were together finally", she thought. Lucy held his hand as she kissed. Penelope pulled her away playfully and Lucy slowly let go with the most...beautiful smile wonderfully stretched across her face. 

Penelope was driving home at a stop light. " So, tell me about you and Jonas," she teased.

Lucy was blushing, "Were do I start?" she pondered. She wouldn't be able to tell Penelope what happened.

The football player came bustling next next to them. Major Shit. They rammed they're car into Penelope's, piercing into the flesh of the vehicle. Lucy jolted to the side then swung back, she screamed bloody murder and her head whipped back and forth barely connected to her neck. The car flipped over onto the median. Then......nothing, it was over. Lucy had gashes of glass embedded into her face and her head was leaking blood. Penelope had cuts stretch across her head. She looked at Lucy and tears streamed down her face just as they would Jonas's. Lucy had died and Penelope hadn't. Spiderman has lost his Mary-Jane, Jonas would never be able absorb in Lucy's enchanting glow again, but merely her after mass.

The Kiss (finally)

Lucy stood hovering over Jonas's unresponsive body, small tricklets of water running down her face, the tears were salty and uninvited in Lucy's frightened mind. She stood silent, waiting impatiently for Jonas to awaken. Penelope stand next to Lucy biting her lip, so that she could taste the blood. Penelope started for the door, Lucy looked at her funny in questioning, Penelope looked back at her in tears. She couldn't take it she needed to get out for a little while. That's the way Penelope was, she can only take things in small incriminates and Lucy accepted and understood this.

Lucy sat down next to Jonas on the bed he was lying in. She and Penelope had taken Jonas to an empty room in the house for him to rest. She ran her fingers through his straight brown hair. His eyes closed, motionless, she closed her eyes and held his hand, tight.....praying, hoping. She felt a hand firmly squeeze back, she jumped a little and opened her eyes. Jonas began to blink, he saw Lucy now lying next to him on her side. He turned and smiled at her, she smiled back, which made Jonas's heart flipped. He loved Lucy, for he truly did, most unconditionally.

Lucy hugged Jonas, not wanting to let go for fear he would go away again. She pulled back a little and Jonas couldn't contain it, he kissed her. She kissed him back so passionately, even the people thousands of miles away could feel happiness. Her lips were soft and moist, it just made Jonas want to kiss her more. He held Lucy in his arm which shot goose bumps up her side. She felt so save in his grasp, as if nothing in the world could harm them. Jonas let go of her kiss.

"I love You", He whispered in her ear.
"I love You, too", The words danced out of her mouth, so gracefully conjoined to his statement. They smiled at each other.
"I have always Loved you", He said this easily, for knowing she too had loved him all along. Lucy didn't respond, she didn't need to, for they were so close......so magically together, no words were needed.

He kissed her again and again then held her for as long as time and she held back, which meant the world.

Black out (Ya! there still at the party!)

There they were three friends (Penelope came back with punch) rocking out to any infamous song that played. Jonas's heart was pounding Lucy was holding his and Penelope's hand. He supposed they were trying to do kind of worm arm thing, but they came out looking pretty stupid, but they didn't care.

The football team entered, accompanied by they're Ho's. Some damn rap song was playing, and Lucy was still dancing just because it was fun so Penelope and Jonas followed even though they all really did hate rap. But it was time for they team to get their grind on (as they would oh so ignorantly put it). So they head for the dance floor and began they're vulgarity. The girls started jamming they're skinny little asses up they're f-buddies crouch. It was quite.......errrr disgusting.

Chris ran to Get them some beer. Great just what they needed a team of big huge...drunks. They chugged the beer two at a time, it was their game.

"Ugh, their smelled is horrid," Lucy looked like she was getting sick
"Lucy are you okay?" Penelope stared at her intently wanting to know. This was no time for 80's words.
Lucy took a great deep breath,"It's okay, people I am O.K.!" Penelope smiled, though still unsure.
"Jonas, can you go ask them to tone it down a bit?"Penelope demanded of Jonas in her angel sweet voice.
He stuck his tongue out at her, "Sure thing, Put me up as a sacrifice!"He smiled
Penelope rolled her eyes at him, "Oh, damn it just go" she pointed in the teams direction dramatically. He walked in the direction of her feisty finger obediently.

"Errr......"he started, scared to talk. When i say this team was huge, I'm saying gigantore with their quarter back biceps. They could literally break Jonas's scrawny little ass in two.
"What do you want man?" Quarterback/abercromie model slurred, happily.
"Could you ummm....ya know, stop drinking er, so much your um...errrrrrr making my friend sick?" Jonas finally choked out.
"Awwww your little girlfriend sick so you want me to stop?"He was getting angry. Shit.
"She's not my....." Jonas couldn't finish
"Well you can tell your bitch 'hell no this is my fun',"He interrupted, "And take this to that whore of yours!" Now Jonas was angry. But he didn't get to finish his train of thought. Black out.

The football players fist was aching, it had just penetrated the head of anothers.........Jonas. All he remembered was Lucy scream her piercing scream of pure freight, blurred by his unconsciousness, he fell to floor. Everything was moving in slow motion, in his head. Lucy and Penelope picking him up. And the putrid smile plastered on that football players face of overall satisfaction he was happy with what he had done.

Their entry, party part 1

It was a friged October night. Penelope's cousin, Samantha, had gotten them invited to a party. Yes an actual one, they never went to any. Everyone from Trevelsview would be there. It was a holloween party, Lucy's favorite holiday.

Lucy's mom had driven her to Penelope's house for a sleepover, and costumes and makeup. They couldn't tell they're parents about a party they were teenagers it's what they're supose to do. The plan was they were to stake out at Penelope's, then wait for her parents to go on they're "Date night", Lame. Then they were going to jack the car and meet Jonas they're, it was fool proof. Cliche plan but it was the best they had.

They did a qick mirror check before they left. Penelope was going as a Hippie, she had been practicing her terms all day at school and planned to use them at the party. It was just part of her look.

Lucy was going as Venus the roman godess of love, she wore a tradional roman robe but had wrapped it tightly around her so she would look like some sort of soroity. For it was her favorite mythological character. She loved the provocitive suduction ora she gave off the this costume, as if she could be anything.

They entered the party and saw Jonas was already there. Lucy, walked into the party and Jonas just stared in to those big sea blue eyes of hers. She was beautiful. Lucy smiled shyly and walked over to him, her and Penelope arm in arm.

"I'm going to get some punch, this party seems like totally rad!"Penelope yelled this over the music.

Lucy look at Jonas and giggled a little, he had come as Spiderman. She loved spider man

Jonas chose this costume because he knew spiderman was Lucy"s favorite action hero. He was decked out head to toe in the red and white and fake web wrists, ofcourse.

"Uh.....i love this song......am i really that much of a dork?"Lucy asked Jonas, Girls Just Wanna Have fun by Cindy Lauper was playing.
"Errrrr......kinda", Jonas coughed out.
"Uh...meano...haha just joking", she shoved him.
"Hey, Hey!!!" She called
"What what!!!" he teased. She gave him a look.
"Lets go dance". She suggested.
"Ummmm.....I'm not much of a dancer, you know that." He answered wanting to stand still.
"Oh, Jonas, when did that ever stop any one?". She said this as she pulled him over to the dance floor and smiled. Jonas became weak in the knees, with that smile she could turn night to day and back again. He couldn't help but smile back.

Lunch...the next day

Lunch, the biggest social event of the day. Jonas had it fourth period....where to sit. He couldn't sit by Penelope, though he wanted to, he wanted to sit by her and tell her everything and just melt out everything he was holding in, to her but he couldn't he couldn't face her they'd been through to much......with Lucy.

He chose an empty table in the corner. Shit, the preps were behind him. They consisted of aeropostale freaks and hollister heads. Everyone of them was perfect as if they had just walked out of an Abrecrombie and fitch catalog. It made Jonas sick. He turned to see them. The ringleaders of there discrimnating clique, Cynthia and Christopher, were in a serious makeout session. It was rather intense. He never quite understood how this cheerleader could practically sleep with the captin of the football team during lunch, then be reicarnated into the poster child of virginal goodness by fith period.

Penelope walks out of the lunch line. No one is there to save her a seat anymore. Lucy would bring her lunch everyday, and get there early and always got the best seat in the house: second to last, next to the window, just far away enough from any football team arm wrestle but not in west africa. Looks like anther bathroom luch for me, she thought. Penelope didn't notice Jonas, she was to obsorbed in her thoughts.

They Stop and notice Jonas staring. Crap, now he's going to look like some kind of pervert. Just what I need, he thought. He hid his face in his arms and turned up the volume on his ipod, to the point at which The Wombats were blaring in his ears.

"OMG!!! What are you staring at?" Her voice was cold as ice, "What a loser". Cynthia mumbles this to herself, but Jonas could hear.

"Poor guy, never gonna get any action like we do!" Chris hoots to his team too loud, highfiving each of them as he says this. He wants Jonas to hear.

"Ya Man! We score on and off the field!"Abercrombie Model recives high fives and big hoots from the rest of the team, Chris is the loudest of them all. Jonas thought all this was stupid, they're idea of points and they're barbarick scoring system was disgusting.

He remembered Lucy, and her kiss, for it was soft and full and lushish. He remebered the night of the party, the night they kissed, the night she died.

Jonas's First day Back

Jonas threw on an old band tee and a pair of faded tight jeans with his ancient battered converses, the ones Lucy had given him for his fourteenth birthday. He had to go to school to day. His parents were fighting again and he had to get out of the house.

His parents were always fighting argueing about something. He hated it he, he also hated the fact the only reason they were together was be cause of him, like he was the cause to there fighting. If he was never born they would've just lived seperate lifes by now never talking, never fighting.

He started into the school building, it was an old huge school built in the sixties. He walked through the gigantic double doors that seperated highschool from the rest of the world. He didn't see Penelope...good, he thought. Maybe she wasn't coming to school today, but luck hasn't been on his side lately. What had he done wrong to deserve this, it wasn't fair, not just unfair that it was, it was unjust...wrong....damn alchohal.

Penelope was still asleep unware that today was occuring. She was dreaming of when she and Lucy were younger.
They would have little tea parties underwater. Lucy was never that fond of water, it scared her, no, she was terrified of the liquidy beast. She did not really know why, it just had. The thought of it swallowing her whole always came to mind when she saw it. But Penelope had always figured a way to coax her in. Once she was in she loved it. They would splash around all day if they could.
Penelope heard this beeping in her dream it was qiute annoying. She didn't know where it was coming from though she looked around...nothing. But then her eyes began to pry open. It was her alarm. It blared 9:00 am....late.

Jonas took his seat in first period. One way far in the back, just far enough for no one to see him if he cried. As the students began to swarm into thier designated homerooms he still did not see Penelope, maybe she really wasn't coming to school today. He lay his head down on the table waiting for class to begin. Ms. Garlings walked in, she was frazzled old lady who never quite knew what she was doing and she always had this distinct scent of cigar smoke. Ms. Garlings had also been Lucy's English teacher when she was still alive. Ms Garlings was Lucy's favorite teacher. She had loved english, and was quite good at it, too. Jonas had read some of Lucy's poems and always felt alive and so real when saw them.....he missed those poems. Lucy would sit next to Jonas everyday in Homeroom but she would never talk to him. She was too engrossed in one of Ms. Garlings offbeat lectures. But Jonas was okay with that though he would just stare at her and obsorb this omniscient glow she gave off whenever she was being inspired.

"All rightio, People today we are talking about, errrrr............ummm where is it", she shuffled thourgh her purse for the mystery object, "Found it!"she said this as she jumped from the ground in delight. She held up a blue and lime green book. Shit, it was "Love, Stargirl"by, Jerry Spinelli. Lucy's favorite book. Jonas bit his lip trying not to cry again.

Lucy had read tons of books and was very picky on when it came down to them.....she was quite the critic. But this one was by far her favorite she was always quoting it. He remembered her favorite line:
"May our reunion not be a finding but a sweet collision of destinies", But her destiny was over so he could never find her again.

Penelope braided her long blonde hair and pulled on a pair of wide leg pants with a henley. She was going to have to walk, her parents had the car.

She slipped into first period english. Jonas, oh no. He didn't see her, Good. Penelope chose a seat in the the middle of the room, next to David he was such a nerd, his pants were too high and his glasses to big. But Lucy didn't see that she was always nice him she would talk to him everyday in the halls and crack the locks of the lockers he was always stuffed in. She was just kind like that and Penelope always envied this trait. A tear fell at the thought of her.......no, she thought, no crying today atleast not here.

Jonas turned his head, Penelope, fuck. When'd she get here? He couldn't answer the question. The bell rang and everyone flowed out of class to second period. The rest of the day consisted of flashbacks and a tearshed lunch. Tomorrow didn't look anymore promising.

The day after

Lucy loved to laugh. And smile...oh how she had the most beautiful smile. She had long brown hair and these deep enchanting eyes. Lucy had the quirkiest personality, she would often come to school with mix-matched socks and a crazy hat. She was so fun and random. Thats what he loved about her. But she was dead now.

Jonas had first heard of the death on the news, they had anounced it live on television "Drunk Driver Hits Car , 1 dead!" He had first thought nothing of it has he'd did most of these things seeing as how there so frequent. Then he saw Lucy's mom crying on the T.V. and the newscaster interviewing her, and he knew she was gone. First he was in shock, he didn't beleive it. No this Can't be real, he thought....then tears, there must of been thousands of them they just keep coming, he couldn't control it. He didn't know it was possible to cry that much. How could she be dead this girl had suffered through gallons of rocky road with him, she under stood about his parents, she was always there......and now she was gone, forever. He never even got the chance to say goodbye, though he probably couldn't face it if he did.

He didn't come to school the next day, he couldn't face the people, he couldn't face anything not his mom or dad or Penelope, espeicially not Penelope.

Penelope Came to School that day she was forced, her scars barely healed. Though she had cried all that night. Lucy was Penelope's best friend and sister, atleast to her she was. She would come over all the time and they would just laugh, Jonas would come, too. Penelope knew Jonas loved Lucy and she knew they would make the cutest couple, She was always urgeing him to tell her but he was so shy it was pointless. But what she didn't know is that Lucy loved him to.....deep down, and though she rarely went that deep she did love him. Lucy thought it was so silly though, because this boy was her best friend she couldn't possibly love him, no, so she never told anyone, not even Penelope.

Penelope understood why Jonas had not come to school that day and was glad, too, because she to could not face him. The whole day was just a blur to her she just melted during every class never hearing a thing. And during lunch she just sat in the bathroom and cried, not eating food, she couldn't eat a thing.

Jonas stay at home, lying on his superman sheets. Lucy loved those sheets, she loved the dorkiness of them. He and Lucy would spend hour on those sheets reading aloud spidermen comics in the apropreate accents the laugh thier heads of...he loved it. He just lay there thinking...about her. The her that would never come back.