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30.12.08

The Funeral... and some insight to those we have grown to disdain...

He closed his eyes and crossed the threshold into the reality so blankly laid out in front of him. Jonas didn't look up to see the secretary nod him in he just walked - never straying his stare from the floor - solemly towards the room full of strangers. Voices murmered into a backgrond noise, Jonas was already lost in the past the only safe place to hide from the truth.
~~~
The cool summer air brush along my face as we sped down to the creek. I turned my head to see Lucy riding parallel along side me, her rusty beach cruiser moaned reluctantly as she pumped harder on the pedals trying to beat me. The wind whipped her hair back to reveal her striking features. Her dark red tinted brown hair and strong percsing eyes; an ice blue like a frozen tundra. Her high cheek bones layed perfectly on her heart shaped head. Lucy skin was my favorite though aside from her eyes, of course. She was pale... cream her olive tone barely breaking the surfice. She turned to smile at me her plump almost red lips broke my awe struck stare. I smiled back and she giggled her sweet childish laugh. I noticed she had stopped, now leaning against her bike parked beside and old oak. I cocked my head and squinted my eyes wondering what she was doing, then I relized we were already here.
The clean almost warm water drowned Lucy's smile. The small river rocks crushed against my back and something was pressed firmly against my fore head. I open my eyes under the water, my vision blurred by the flowing liquid.
"Jonas," I could hear her roll her eyes through the muffled cry. I smiled at her tone and lifting my head out of the water so I was sitting cross legged in the stream and figured the bike seat had landed on my head.
"I'm okay. Im good, thanks for worrying," I mocked.
She let another giggle escape her lips and she rolled her eyes once more, "Get out there," She complained, "Look your all wet now." She gestered toward my clothes.
I splashed her, "Come in it's fun!" I splashed her again.
She couldn't resist, she ran into the ankle deep creek and kicked the fresh water in my face. We broke out into an all out water fight, flinging water at each other mercilessly.
I raised my hands in surreder, "Okay, you win I give up."
"Awww, come on," She moaned, "I though you said it was fun," Lucy mocked my voice on the last word splashing me again. As she was kicking the water into the air she lost balance and flew forward. I caught her right before she hit the ground. Her slender body in my arms made my heart skip. I looked at her and face flushed pink.
"Sorry," She mumbled regaining balance and I reluctantly let her go.
I rolled my eyes teasingly, "Your such a clutz." She stuck her tounge out with an Uhhhing sound that made me smile.
We walked out of the stream and she sat against the old oak while a sat across from her in it's shade.
"You know what my favorite part about this place is?" She asked.
"What?" I answered curious about her sudden question.
"The bike ride over," She bagan glancing at me to make sure I was listening... of course; I was, "Because when I look down at the road the markings stained on the asphalt as thay fly by remind me of the begining of an old movie. When the technolagy was still new so it had imperfections--My favorite part--and the screen would blip with random dots and lines."
"Like at the start of an 'I Love Lucy' marathon," Lucy's favorite show... ironic enough. She would make me watch it for hours whenever 'TV Land' was having a tribute to it.
"Exactly," She smiled, she loved it when ever I brought the show up. Lucile Ball was also her favorite actress and the woman she was named after. I smiled back at her favorite part. She had spread her Luciness all over this conversation. Which made fall her again.
~~~
Jonas slowed his pace as he got closer to the wooden coffin biting his lip, holding back tears. He stared at the lifeless corpse in front of him and choked down the memory of this girl and him at the creek. Her welcoming smile had vanished and her childish giggle silenced replaced by a blank drone. Her ice eyes closed tight never to open again and the olive rose drained from her face. Stark white washed over to the look a like maniquin. This wasn't Lucy lying in front of him, this restless body frowning up at him. Chagrin replaced Jonas' mourning face. Her soul was gone disappeared into the universe. Why had God done this? Steal a pure heart from a world desperatly in need of her thoughts.
Incomprehensable.
Jonas felt a delicate hand on his back and turned around.
Penelope.
"What are you doing here?" Jonas' voice whipped a desolate tundra over Penelope's apearence. He was bitter with disapointment already, she was unwelcome.
"Lucy was my friend too," She stated defensively.
"Yeah, was... how do think she would feel about your new friends?" He acused.
"That's none of your business," She squinted back peircing him with her firery green eyes. Jonas cringed away.
"But really Pen," His tone was calmer now, "Do you really think..." Penelope cut him off.
"It's Penelope," Her voice cold as ever.
"Fine. Penelope," He said the word like it was disease, "Seriously do think she would have liked that your running off with Chris and playing," His voice changed to a mocking girls, "BFF with his fuck-buddy?"
"I'm just trying to go on okay? I can't spend my whole life mourning some girls death," Penelope explained.
"That some girl was your best friend," Jonas was on the verge of tears, "You two were like sisters. Aren't upset about that at all? How can you be so okay with all this?"
"You think I'm okay?" She apeared to be on edge too, "You think I'm all little birds fluttering around in a meadow? You weren't there when she died. You weren't there to watch you best friend bleed to death and unable to do anything!" She'd lost it the tears were flowing freely now, "I'm not that easy to recover, Jonas," She reminded him. His stomach fluttered she said his name. He didn't know why, "I'm just trying, okay?" Jonas was crying now, too.


3.12.08

Mental Health Day

Wednesday, school, the day before the funeral. Jonas slept in today, no need to awaken.
Jonas decided the night before that for his and humanities mental sake it was best to not attend school today. This fourth day of the week was Field trip day, to the place of her death and to ponder the wondering of his philosophies, the ones Lucy had past down.

Jonas trudge to the city bus stop, back pack on one shoulder, the weight of misery on the other. He thought the shoulder full of notebooks and nap sacks was lighter. The ancient vehicle crawled up the winding rode. The driver pushed the double doors open with his handle and Jonas take a seat behind a woman with a handful of birdseed in her pocket and a man who smelled of goat. Jonas smile at the pair, Lucy had taught him to do that, and the woman with bird seed reach into her pocket and hand a few to Jonas smiling. He stare out the window the whole trip, the goat man occasionally talking gibberish to him. Jonas pull the ring cord to alert the driver he want to get off the rusty death mobile.

He step off the bus onto a forgotten dirt road. It's only inhabitants a faded bus stop and miles of grassy green fields that swayed in the wind. The air gusted Jonas's over grown hair out from in front of his face revealing his striking blue eyes.
Lucy thought his eyes looked the color of a piece of sea glass she found on her trip to Martha's Vineyard when you position the glass in front of the setting sun. The night she died, when they finally kissed, she stared into the the endless ocean of his glassy eyes and smiled, it was her favorite feature of his. Looking into his eyes made her feel lost and welcome. She would stay lost in his deep eyes forever if she could and would never come back.

Jonas stand in the middle off the dusty path, no sign off civilization for miles. He called her name into the day. He waited for a response and none came. It became clear to him she long ago disappeared. He cursed him self for being blind and shed one teared trapped in the back of his mind.

The lunch table was crowed with vaguely familiar strangers she had created as temporary friends. Penelope sit next to Cynthia and across from Chris. The boy play footsies with her under the table and she secretly refused but her outer layer happily obliged. Cynthia giggle twisting her wavy fake blonde hair with her forefinger.